When I become Emperor of the Known Universe there is a list of things which I intend to ban almost immediately. High up on that list are:
Salt and Vinegar crisps;
Bruce Forsyth; and
Satellite Navigation Systems
The reasons for the first two should be obvious to anyone of taste and discernment and so I shall not dwell on them.
But I just don’t get Satnavs at all. I’m sure that GPS is extremely useful if you find yourself adrift in the North Atlantic, or if you are Geocaching half a bag of jelly babies and your school report card. But it takes all of the fun out of driving.
One of the great joys in nipping around the town (or country) is the fact that one can plan ahead, then take totally arbitrary decisions as traffic and circumstances dictate. I for one get terribly bored following the same route from A to B and like to vary things from time to time.
Of course, that doesn’t always work out. Many is the time in the past I have found myself backing out of some cul de sac with the Ex wondering who in their right mind would choose to go this way. Oh, how we used to laugh.
And there was one infamous Tuesday in Normandy with the present Mrs WeeKeef when we spent a great deal of time turning round and starting again. But I blame that on the French approach to road signage. Frankly I’m amazed the Allies managed to find their way off the beaches. WW2 could have turned out very differently if we hadn’t brought our own maps.
But my real point is that putting a computer screen in front of a driver, particularly a male driver, just doesn’t strike me as being very sensible. The only time I have ever driven a car with one fitted I spent so much time checking it, fiddling with it and arguing with it that I had to turn it off after a couple of miles to avoid crashing.
Half the motoring population now seems to have some glowing device attached to their windscreen, obscuring their view and dictating their every decision. Even taxi drivers are slaves to the things (although I suspect those ones have a special “long way round” setting).
If we have taken the very reasonable decision to ban handheld mobile phones when driving, why on Earth do we still allow Satnavs? It makes no sense and I suggest we ban them immediately.
At least you know where you are with a good old fashioned traffic jam.
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