We will fight them on the beeches

It’s about time we went back and visited those crazy kids in the Scottish Parliament for another look at the issues some members feel really need to be aired. Because, after all, there’s nothing else going on at the moment.

We’ve already looked at the over-abundance of cricket on our tellies, and discussed the persecution of witches in Clydebank (or something). But today we stop messing about and mark a properly important date in the calendar. Because today, according to the Motion lodged by Scottish Conservative stalwart Murdo Fraser MSP, is ….

[FANFARE]

Squirrel Appreciation Day

Now, before we get too excited it is worth saying that the Motion calls upon the Scottish Parliament* to note that this annual celebration is, in fact, US in origin and dates all the way back to 2001. Mr Fraser, however, keen to reaffirm his Scottish credentials also notes that “the red squirrel was recently voted Scotland’s second favourite animal” (after the Haggis, presumably) and is in danger from diseases carried by the alien invading grey squirrel.  In particular, he understands that Perthshire represents the battleground between red and grey populations”. It’s like Halo for shadow-tailed rodents.

Anyway, the Motion finishes up by calling on the Scottish Government to, amongst other things, “step up its protection efforts with increased use of exclusion zones”. Yeah, that will do it. They could put up some signs. Problem solved.

Hm, I wonder which MSP represents Perthshire. Looks it up. Ahhhh!

* May contain nuts

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